Life Beyond Facebook

FB2 Electric Boogaloo
Odd… there have been several other posts I’ve contemplated, but I finally get around to typing something and it is about Facebook again. Again? Isn’t there something beyond Facebook? Hmm, ironically, that is why this post came about.

Social Network Blues
I pulled out of several networks. Let’s face it, maintaining a network takes time and energy, and those things are at a premium in this over-boiled rat race of a life our species has created for itself (and we call ourselves “advanced”? hee hee, that’s cuuuuute *pinches the cheeks of humanity*).  So I did what any self-aware bachelor not wanting to become an unsuspecting parent would do: I pulled out.

Now What?
Who knows, really.  But, like every busy person on this little blue ball, I want to put my finite amount of time where it is best utilized, while still having some time for fun and maybe even a little slice of time to be socially responsible. This means only using tools that DON’T waste my time. But what does the word “waste” mean in this context, really?

Thinking about Social Network Waste
Is it like nuclear waste? If so, can we clean it up in about 15 seconds using one of of those radioactive picker-uppers from the latest Die Hard movie? (no lie, they cleaned up 20 years of “pooled” radioactivity in about 3 minutes with that thing — better than a Shark vacuum! No wait, Shark vacuums have one advantage: they are REAL). Where was I? Oh yeah, social network waste (SNW)… there are many forms of SNW, but since this is my first time thinking about it, I am not 100% sure I know what I am talking about.  So let’s take Scrapples, the Social Networking Puppy, out for a walk and after he does some of his “business” we can send it to the lab and get a proper waste analysis.

Lab Report
Well, I took Scrapples out, and for a 15 pound dog, I was impressed with the 2,574 pound turd he left on the lawn:

  • Churn vs Substance: This was the most ambiguous category because 1 person’s churn is another person’s substance, but it would be nice if my social network only contained information I was interested in…not just the people I want to hear from.  And turnaround is fair play – when I broadcast a message, I just want it broadcast to people who want that TYPE of message.
  • Security vs Features: I don’t want to see Farmville crap, OK? Any application that says it needs permission to scrape my contacts or behave with a power of attorney is not an application I need or want.
  • Convoluted UI: User Interfaces that hide the stuff I want to use, or are difficult to use…. can get out of my way.
  • Users as Products: Positioning advertisements all over the place just annoys me.  I would like the option to pay a subscription and forego the advertisements.
  • Reusable Information: When I am ready to share… this is the world-wide web, I want to post information once, then have it distributed to where my friends/subscribers are and THEN have it filtered so only people who want to see that information are bothered with it.  And this is like a social-web concept (thanks TED… oh wait, I AM Ted. Muhahah. Thanks, me! :-D) – I don’t want to have 20 accounts on 20 networks.  1 post should hit all 20 using interwebz magic and be done! (Pangea was one such venture, dunno if it ever got out of diapers and started walking or not – but I don’t see it out there)
  • My Information: Is mine. My posts are mine. My content is mine.  Not Facebook’s, Not Google’s.
  • My Identity: Don’t waste my time trying to sharing details about who I am – who I am is MY business.  And don’t interfere with what name I want to use (arg, FB, arg Google+) – on the web I am TheRage3K. Effing deal with it, or get out of my way.
  • Troll-Meter: Don’t like trolls? Fine – give every recipient the right to rate a response as a troll response.  Enough of those, and they have a little troll icon next to their posts, or something, so people know the trolls. Hi trolls!! We love to hate you *troll face*
  • Content Sharing: Some sites are working on this, maybe they do it better, but when I share, I need to pick the audience, from a few key people, to a “circle” to multiple groups to the whole “three double-u”.

Is There a Happy Place?
I don’t know if I can find a place that let’s me feed Scrapples a healthy diet and regulate his by-product production.  I did find this post on some different options (Google+, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, MySpace,Bebo, Habbo,Tagged, Tumblr,Four Square, Diaspora, Path, Zurker and Harnu).  I had another link, but I need to track it down again: it also included previous sites all the way brack to Friendster. Ah here is that link! I don’t know which of these networks caters to what I am looking for at the moment, or if any of them do; however, when I do land somewhere, I will let everyone know.  I can’t stay disconnected forever (darn)!

Why Facebook is [Adjective]

OK, really this post is probably redundant, but since they are a faceless organization that plays every trick in the book to avoid allowing people to contact them directly, this just makes me feel betterer.

OK, so here are some options – I haven’t tried them yet, but figured I would put this at the top of my rant in case you don’t care about all my whining:

options: http://gethuman.com/contact/Facebook/

says you are screwed: http://www.contacthelp.com/directory/Internet/Web+Sites/Facebook?ListingID=324


My handle is TheRage3K.  I also owned an S-Corp with a legal entity name of ZettaSpace Inc.  Facebook does not allow businesses with mixed cap names to properly register their name.  They have this artificial rule they created about “proper capitalization.” This rule makes no sense!!

By their rules, I would be either Therage3k, or Zettaspace Inc.  Those aren’t MY names.  I even tried ditching the cap, and it puts the first one in! It’s required. Why? “facebook” doesn’t start with a capital…they don’t even play by their own rules!! LAME SAUCE! What if my name was an Acronym? Gah… think people!!

Add to that the most non-intuitive UI since the invention of the sloppy Joe, privacy and security issues, the fact that I really don’t WANT to see every single time my long lost acquaintance from high school drinks a cup of coffee,  not liking that their applications are constantly asking for crazy permissions, and just seeing Facebook as a time sink in general…. well, that pretty-much sums it up!


I think, from a typical entertainment/advertising model stand-point, FB is over inflated in value, but is definitely a successful model. But there are better ways to share information – smarter and more efficient ways (this goes against the grain for what the profiteers want to see happen).  I read somewhere, in reference to FaceBook… if the service is free, then you aren’t the customer, you are the product being sold.  That’s 100% true in this case.

Since I am putting a BIZ on FB, this is not about me having coffee.  This is about my business paying for me to tell you I am having coffee! No. No wait…


Well, I cannot change FB, so here is my multi-faceted approach:

  • First, I found a name that worked – for some reason “3K” was deemed viable. 
  • Second, I will post this article so others can share in the annoyance
  • Third, I will climb a tree, and from at least 10 feet off the ground, I will proclaim to whoever will listen that my business exists!
  • Fourth, I will have folks login and use the evil FB website to promote my business.
  • Fifth, I will create a hashtag, because those have been proven to fix EVERYTHING! #WhyFacebookIs

With a plan this clever, I cannot fail!

No, I really don’t know what the plan is, but it looks great! “Presentation” for the win….