Wow. I just had one of those freaky “real” dreams. You know the ones where you are just cleaning the house or going to work – your mind gets you into the “this is real” mode. So I was cleaning my room – dusting and reorganizing some stuff on a shelf when all of the sudden, I felt this weight on my right shoulder. It was heavy, and multiple “claws” or something gripped on to my back and neck.
I turned my head slowly because, whatever it was, acting fast might trigger an adverse response. Perched on my shoulder I saw a black widow spider…and not just any spider; she was about 6 inches in diameter at her abdomen and her legs, although bent close together were another 12 inches long or more.
Now, I don’t know why, but I thought my wife might be in the next room (haha, like she would help if this really happened – she’d be like, oh Ted, sucks to be you…). So, I started calling for her in this soft falsetto tone – “Mommmmmmy. Moooo-oooooo-mmmmmy” and of course she couldn’t hear me.
I was pretty glad to wake up this morning – especially without a 5-pound spider on my back.