NostraTedmus Says: “All Hail Chief Isle of Capri!”

I promised a cohort of mine I would post this.  Not that he wanted me to, or that it is a good idea…because it certainly is NOT a good idea.  It is PURE UNEQUIVOCAL GENIUS BABY!!  I have SEEN the future.  Want to know where the economy is headed?  This is it! (And if you believe that, I can also sell you a bridge…to nowhere…)

UBER BLAME STORM

All the .COM companies that went belly-up in 2000 are going to rise up and start a class-action suit against the US government for discrimination!!  Once lawyers catch the blame-wave, ANY company that failed in the last 30 years will jump on to the growing list of corporate welfare lawsuits!

 

 

INVESTING IN THE BLAME-STORM

Oh yeah, baby!  Watch the DOW spike as people invest, like mice drooling at the moon (OK, real mice know it is not made of cheese, but the simile holds for investors at large).  People will buy stock in companies, just to cash-in on the winning lawsuits.  11K will be nothing.  The DOW will blow through the 20K line like a teenager blowing through cell minutes.

 

 

BLAME-FAIL

The courts will of course rule that the US government was indeed discriminatory (for whatever flavor of reasons, we can only imagine…as 31 will seem trite compared to the number of discrimination flavors available  to justify these claims).  But, since the pay-out will undoubtedly be some number like…5T or 10T (we are talking 30 years of corporate bankruptcy requiring immediate stimulus), the government will concede to its inability to pay – in effect the the government will be unable to honor the judgement against itself!  And the world will watch the weirdest inversely-proportionate line trend ever…. the DOW will come plummeting down and the suicide rate will skyrocket.  Mice will be jumping into traps on purpose, just because there is no cheese to be had, and the moon will remain in the sky – untouchable. (Again, no real mice were harmed in this rendition of our future, because real mice can’t buy stock.  Sorry, Mickey, and those options Walt left you…yeah, you can’t exercise those either, bud.)

 

 

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

This turbulent unrest will leave the government open to all kinds of strangeness.  It is during this time that the American Indians will rise up, unify (the 1700s are over, baby!), and using their new socialist-casino model (It’s capitalism, only the house keeps 8%), they will nationalize the entire United States as the Usurped Sociocasino States Reformed.  The military will be retrained, and the “USSR” will launch a massive scalping at the United Nations, followed by a complete succession from the global economy (like the US probably should have done – well, less the whole scalping thing).  You know the line, “Just say no!” applies to most the stuff we’ve done since the 1970s, or probably even earlier, but I digress.

 

CHIEF “ISLE OF CAPRI”

Chief Isle of Capri will reign supreme over a closed economy based solely on a “house keeps 8%” model, all businesses will be nationalized, both the Sicilian Mob and Yakuza will be retrained with the tomahawk to protect the casinos, and the “USSR” will flourish!  Although, your 401K is definitely effed. Yeeeee-Hawwww! (Roll Music: “Back in the USSR”).  I’d better brush up on my Ute….

 

 

BAY OF PIGS 2

Of course, the next time “Bay of Pigs” comes around, the “USSR” will be talking pigs, literally.  They will be parking them all over the place.  Except in Haiti, because a pig only has a half life of about 4 seconds in Haiti.  Will people PLEASE tell me how we can get those people some FOOD? Meh, that is a whole different diatribe.

No Camp Vote Here

I am really getting frustrated. We live in the information age and we aren’t USING the technology, from what I can tell. Has anyone found an UNBIASED comparison between Obama and McCain? Please, don’t post “McShame” this or “Osama” that – I want real answers without the hype, please. All I have found everytime I search is the two camps pointing fingers at each other and saying they are liars.

If I cannot find what I am looking for, I might just “throw away” my vote (they call it that when a person doesn’t vote with the mainstream). Serious… I am sick of hearing, “My friends…”, and I am sick of hearing “Believe…” Neither website lists their plan… and I mean a real plan that isn’t fluffy like “We will make this the best country ever!” WTF is that?

So I visited the sites (www.barackobama.com and www.johnmccain.com), and started wading through the additional verbiage on each issue.  Both are ultimately unclear to me, and part of the problem I want to make a decision in 15 minutes, but these issues, each one of them, is worthy of an hour or two of study at MINIMUM.  Nobody has that kind of time.

Ultimately, I am not going to ride the media sensationalism that IS the Obama campaign, founded on an engery and hope that, although heartfelt by its followers, is typical of the Democratic zeal.  Zeal and hope will not fix our problems anymore than “experienced mavericks.” C’mon, haven’t we as a species graduated this kind of BS yet?  “Say anything for the win” doesn’t earn my vote.

As it stands… I have gotten opinions from folks close to me (see the Rolling the Dice post and comments) and if anything, I am close to not voting for EITHER of them.  Plus, it’s not like THEY are going come in and DO everything… it’s not like America is an empire. Oh…it got kind of quiet… it’s not an empire, is it?

Out of all of this, I think the big take-away is I have ignored my country and left it to some pretty effed- up people.  The President has very little to do with it, ultimately. It’s become much bigger than that, and I am not sure how the American people are supposed to work their jobs, have their families, and sort out their government…but this I do know.  If we keep expecting the people we vote for to do it, it won’t happen.

Seriously. It’s a Democracy (or at least a Republic) – so we need to be more involved, and we need to use all the marvelous technology out there to become more educated and get more involved.  So let me see what I can find out about that approach, since this election is prettymuch a wash for me.

My Name’s Not Carla!!

It’s been a month, and today I called AT&T tech support to whine for the 6th time. My caller ID reports my name as Carla Wojsha-schmokin-crackin-schnackun-ziplok-packin (actual name has been withheld, and this name represents a slight dramatization).

Well 6 must be the lucky number, as William, the Chief of Support, assured me he went through the same thing a few months ago, only his name was Colette! I told him I liked Colette better. Anyway, he put me in touch with Anthony, the Mad Caller ID Scientist, who wrestled with the systems and got it working. He asked what name I wanted to use. I asked if “Supreme Ruler of the Universe” was allowed. He said it wasn’t, but that he gets a number of similar requests… oh well, at least I am no longer calling home and hearing, “Hey Carla, how’s it going? …”

It Started with a Camcorder

Greeetings people of Earth. I have a camcorder, and I am not afraid to use it. Muhu. Ha. haha.

So I took a new job on the east coast.  And to get there, I drove my minivan.  And to make it fun, I made a video, and to post the video I made a YouTube account, which asked me if I wanted a blog.  Mmmm.  Blogs.

So begins the creative mecca that will soon consume my free time and turn me into an online junky.  More…I crave MORE!!